Unconscious Desires
by Mini Reyes
Summary: Shepard's actions often surprise Liara, but the one's that strike her the most are the ones that the Commander doesn't even realise she does. Late one night when her counterpart is asleep she takes some time to reflect on her first love. (Set in ME2. Spoilers.)


Within the throes of sleep the unconscious commander rolls into her sleeping partner, fitting her body to the asari's in second nature and sliding her arm around the woman, jolting Liara awake. Liara is used to sleeping alone and unaccustomed to sharing a bed with another being, more so, she is surprised by her human counterparts actions. The Commander that she knows puts up a hard front in the presence of her crew, providing leadership, stability, support and confidence, then when they are alone the Commander she knows is more relaxed but these leading qualities still remain present and the authority she carries herself with sometimes makes Liara question herself. But this, this Commander, displaying such common place affection unconsciously is curios for the asari who has spent many hours reading up on human culture and customs. She has read of how the human often wind up entangled in their counterpart during the time they are asleep but somehow she had assumed that the tendency was somewhat linked with personality, and the Commander didn't seem the type to be so openly affectionate.

_Perhaps in sleep the body is less inhibited, such as with the consumption of alcohol. _

She knows that the Commander holds herself back at times so as not to overwhelm her.

This softer side of Shepard, which holds their bodies close together but so gently that there is no restriction should Liara decide to move, this utter fragile like gentleness surprises Liara. The first Liara knew of the Commander was a gun wielding leader, strong, confident and able, fragility and gentleness were not something that Liara would have associated with a soldier but these are the exact words forming in her mind. With a start Liara realises that she has held Shepard an idol in her eyes, almost forgetting that the woman is not only a hero but a still a human woman. It's a startling revelation and the confliction between idol hero and human being is strong. Liara has to remind herself that the commander has a gentler side even though she has experienced it first hand on multiple occasions. Liara is no stranger to Shepard's softer side, the woman is always gentle in their down time together but often remnants of the leader she is can still be seen if she looked closely. The woman is 'Commander Shepard' first and foremost, and the contrast between the soldier and lover in the woman still strikes her with surprise.

Then another thought struck; _Even in sleep Shepard is protective of me. _

Lying together, an arm over her, almost mirroring when Shepard pushed her out of the way of the angry Shadow Broker before they took him down. She remembered her conflicting emotions that day as her grief weighed on her but Shepard's arm around her had sent tingles through her body and brought back memories of their shared time together. That brief moment stayed with her through the fight, the sensation of the Commander's arms around her, body pushing her out of the way, protecting her instinctually. Shepard took the lead in that fight, taking more than one bullet for Liara by drawing the Shadow Broker's attention repeatedly and taking him on in a battle of brawn when the time called for it. Liara can see in her mind the image of Shepard charging at the Shadow Broker, taking on a creature possibly twice her size and physically a lot stronger in a shoving match. If the asari had known what football or rugby were, she could have equated the two human games with Shepard's match against the Shadow Broker, and perhaps even inquired if the woman had played the game at some point.  
It was not lost on her that Shepard took on the beast simply because she asked it, and if it were any other human they most likely would not have survived the encounter.

It's as if the soldier in the woman isn't present at all, her body relaxed, her mind at ease, a gentle warmth radiating off her as if she were a human heater designed for the asari. There's no tight muscles, held posture, or slightly furrowed brow, no sign of the Commander in her waking hours, only… only…

_Peace. She is completely at peace in her sleep. _

A state which the asari can comfortably say she has not seen on the human in their time together, not like this. Liara turns in Shepard's arm to face her and studies the sleeping woman's face.

_Completely relaxed._

Liara notes the lack of a wrinkle between her eyebrows that usually presents its self in her waking hours when dealing with her crew or other important business, she sees and will remember with great interest Shepard's slightly parted lips despite breathing through her nose and the way in which Shepard responds, even in her sleep, to being kissed, her lips moving just enough to convince the asari that on some level the Commander is aware of her actions.

_Domestic._

The word finally came to her, the whole scene felt domestic, a setting in which the asari cannot imagine the soldier in. Shepard joined the Alliance as soon as her age permitted, became the first human Spectre as most of the galaxy knows, then saved the galaxy and council when no one else would, or could. She grew up around the military her whole life; it was ingrained in her being. Born in the military, lived in the military, died in the military once too and would again if she kept throwing herself into these dangerous missions to save the galaxy. A noble cause most certainly, but the asari would rather that it not be Shepard running head first into _another _suicide mission. She'd already lost her once.

_But then she wouldn't be Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre. _

Liara sighed, it was who the Commander was, savior and protector of the galaxy, everyone's hero. But in this moment, no trace of the Spectre or Alliance Military soldier could be found, in this moment she was simply a woman, human, holding her lover as though it was the most common thing to do, as though there wasn't a war on the horizon, a galaxy to save and everything to lose or be gained.

_Normal. _

As though everything were normal.

Liara closed her eyes, well aware that tomorrow could be the last she sees of Shepard, and takes in the moment of normality to remember it should there not be another night between them. She slides her arm around Shepard, tucking her head under the Commander's chin and dozing off to the soft sounds of the woman's breaths.


End file.
